Solitude

The current date is March 22, 2020.

Mayor Garcetti issued the “Safer at Home” emergency order for Los Angeles County three days ago. With the coronavirus spreading and everyone being forced to stay inside, I see opportunity peeking through these scary times. Yes, there is sadness. Some people will die, some businesses will be lost and humanity will be changed forever. But having this time to stop, reflect and be less active is an amazing gift that I hope people will see.

One thing I am most thankful to have gained from my year backpacking by myself is the ability to be comfortable with my alone time. This came from some days of almost complete solitude. Or days where you surrounded by people but unable to communicate with any of them. Spending time with only my thoughts was sometimes dark but ultimately it led to becoming my own best friend. I had the time to reflect on my life, my brain’s thought patterns and my deepest desires. This came from allowing to be still with no one else to talk to or nothing to do, not distracted by work, relationships or duties. I was so fortunate (and aware of my fortune) to savor those days when I had no itinerary. Nothing that needed to be done. So I took my time. I laid in the grass or sat on a bench with my thoughts and observed.

I did not take a phone during my year-long trip so it was easy to disconnect. Not having to worry about what other people were thinking, how they would judge my activities; it was freeing. I decided not to post anything because I wanted my trip to be for Me. I didn’t want to chase likes or feel better about myself through other people’s FOMO. I do not regret my decision because I know how easy it is to get swept away with that. However, part of me wishes I posted more pictures only because many photos from my South America trip are gone :(

The time I spent alone was invaluable. Being exposed to so many different situations and how I chose to handle myself really gave me a lot of insight. Sometimes a lot of self-respect too and at other times shame.

Time in solitude can be uncomfortable. It’s like an uncomfortable elevator ride with a stranger as you wait for the doors to finally open. But don’t run from yourself. Learn to be comfortable with all of your parts, you owe it to them. The confidence that comes from being your best friend is so warming and unparalleled.

So don’t run from the silence. Embrace it. Allow the stillness to seep in for a few moments in the day. Take away the screens and let your mind drift. You may come away a better person and friend for yourself.